Doting Grandparents
” When I announced to my mom via phone that I’m pregnant, I was surprised to note that she sounded so happy. Not just for me though, I could tell that she was happy for herself. She said “lola na ako(I’m a grandmother), and hurriedly warned me to take care of the baby I’m carrying and not to do anything to harm her/him. The unspoken, ominous “or else” was evident with the pause that followed her statement.
While AJ was just a baby, my parents will call in the middle of the night just to ask about him. And when he was old enough to run around our family house when we vacationed there, they were 100% doting. There’s a pleasant feeling when my parents dote on my son, but I discovered a downside to this during scolding time.
My son, the toddler, needs to be told when to not do something because.. well, because he has to learn. I resort to glares and firm retorts of “no” to discipline my son, which he ignores most of the time. Small but sharp raps on the hand are common when he touches or plays with something he shouldn’t touch. However, when I do these while my parents are around, I am the one who gets scolded by my own parents. They couldn’t bear to see the inverted “u” that forms on my son’s lips when he gets scolded.
I find it weird that my parents, who were ultra-strict and constantly scolding while I was growing up, could be this gentle to their grandchild. My theory is that, old folks get reminded of their age and imminent mortality when they witness the next, next generation coming forth. They feel like a part of them has made it to another cycle of life and they feel inexplicable tenderness towards the youngest versions of themselves.
December 22nd, 2007 at 7:22 pm
Isn’t that the truth? My husband’s parents are the same way, though they have had to come and help care for my kids after my surgery recovery so they had to be more strict. I guess it’s a grandparent’s right to dote. But I think it’s their responsibility to help us raise the next generation, too.
December 23rd, 2007 at 8:30 am
That’s great that they’re strict! Mine’s totally spoiled rotten due to my parents’ doting. It’s a good thing they live far though so I at least have time to undo the damage.
Yeah they always talk to me about teaching my son the basics of living, but when they see him getting scolded it breaks their hearts.
December 26th, 2007 at 10:29 pm
So TRUE!!! My husband says that his parents let our kids get away with things they would never have DREAMED of letting him do…I can’t really say much as my folks do the same thing…I guess that’s the grandparents’ right. (I have noticed that when they keep them for longer than a day or two then I see MY PARENTS/MY HUBBY’S PARENTS emerge again.)